He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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