I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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