she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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