look no pants
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
