Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
