Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
