All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
