ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
