i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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