Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
