Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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