hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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