There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
