Tell her she can't have a vagina
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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