I should be sponsored by Trojan
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
