The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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