I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
