New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
