but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
