The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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