I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
