have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's shark week go big or go home
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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