Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
