its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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