jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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