Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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