woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
