As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
This is the high leading the old right now
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
