If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
