Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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