I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
