this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
