what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Randomize
