Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
