I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
