I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
