Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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