You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
