I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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