belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
