yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
