Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
