I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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