Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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