i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
