Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
