i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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