so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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