how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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