Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I love black thongs
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
