maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
