I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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