im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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