So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
