You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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