boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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