I wish I only lived at night.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
