all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
