Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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